Best friends are supposed to be there for you no matter what,through thick and thin, what happens when they don't when they abandon you when you need them most. you share everything with them and then one day they just arent there for you anymore. Its one of the most painful experiences there to be abandoned by a best friend. So much so that you would do anything to get them back. I once had a best friend that I shared everything with. The kind of friend you thought nothing could tear you apart. except one day you are torn apart and its so painful that it feels you had lost pain where your heart once was. For me this person was my best friend my first real adult best friend that I thought I would share everything with. I thought we would be bridesmaids at eachothers weddings...we had even talked about it in fact...then one day I was going through a tough time when i needed her most she abandoned me said she couldnt handle it that she had given up to much to be my best friend and that i was holding her back in life, her relationship, in everything. Do you know what that feels like? I'm sure you do everyone has a person like this in their life. Well a year has past since this unfortunate time and the pain is no less I've tried to mend things even though I did what I could to salvage the friendship she wanted nothing to do with it. It makes me said to have a friend who was a thought to be a true friend who I would have done anything for ....I would have literally walked into a burning building for this friend. But now looking back after a year without her I still wonder if I am really better off without her. And somehow i still doubt it. I still wonder if I somehow had pulled myself together or put myself aside wether this friend would still be there . I miss her everyday somedays so much I cry about it . But then I know the memories of this friendship will carry me on and there are other friendships to be had and new memories to be made. I just want to for a moment pause and remeber this friendship which carried me through all but the darkest hour. and remeber that i can make it through without her no matter how much it hurts. THat I am A great person and that someday she will realize she lost a great friend too. And as much as I cherished her friendship Its time I move on and stop trying to repair something so shattered not even duct tape can fix it. And we all know duct tape can fix anything worth fixing. And now after giving myself a moment to grieve i move on smile breathe deeply and go on with my life.